


Soulmates

by breatherepeat



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, One True Pairing, Self-Acceptance, Self-Reflection, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28049832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breatherepeat/pseuds/breatherepeat
Summary: Dan's best mate gifts him a night with the person science decided as his one true love. Dan doesn't quite believe in the science but decides to attend the meeting in a hotel suite. There he is confronted with many truths that had been buried deep.
Relationships: Kyle Simmons/Dan Smith
Comments: 48
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [written_you_down](https://archiveofourown.org/users/written_you_down/gifts).



Dan was not sure what had made him accept his mate’s gift. On the surface, it was everything that made Dan uncomfortable. 

Being locked in a room with another person while talking about yourself and being vulnerable enough to attempt to make a connection with them. 

Yup, definitely did not know why he agreed to this exercise in personal torture. 

Or, maybe he did know and he was not ready to go there yet in his head. 

Either way, here he was with a hotel key in his hand and instructions to meet K. Simmons in room 324. 

Dan did not know what to wear but decided to wear something that made him comfortable. Smart formal attire was probably the standard choice for meeting someone you wished to impress, and that had been selected as your ideal match. But Dan wouldn’t be comfortable in anything other than the clothes he wore on a daily basis. This was nerve racking enough; he didn’t need to worry about coordinating a suit with the right trainers. 

Pulling at the dark hoody to make it move out from his chest and away from his neck, Dan stretched his toes in his colourful Converse. 

The kind man at the front desk instructed him to use the key card to enter the room. His “date” had already checked in and was waiting for him. 

Dan was late for the woman that his friend’s responses identified as his perfect match yet he needed a few more moments before he used the key. 

Apparently there was science behind the pairings, yet Dan was a bit skeptical of a “science” that included questions about his favourite meal and name of his favourite secondary teacher. His friend, bless her, stated she knew all of Dan’s responses and challenged him to prove her wrong as she quizzed him on the questions asked of the match-making survey.

Much to his friend’s delight, she knew every single answer that Dan would have given for himself. Even the trick response that Dan gave to test her knowledge of him. She called him out quick and told him to fucking go on the date. 

A date that included a hotel room and multiple “scientific” exercises to get the selected perfect mate for him to fall in love with him. And he to fall in love with her. 

Dan’s friend would not answer how much this experience cost her, but Dan hoped she didn’t spend too much money on this obvious farce. 

Taking a deep breath and pulling out the hoody again as he released the air from his lungs, Dan used the key card and opened the door to his fate. 

The room was a suite and entered into a wide hallway connected to a lounge area. 

There, sat in one of the over-sized cushioned chairs, was a tall man with dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard. He was dressed similar to Dan and sat with his long legs crossed at the knee. 

“Hello.” The man stood as Dan entered further into the lounge. “I thought maybe you had backed out. I’m a bit nervous.” 

Dan took his eyes off the lean man in front of him, making a note that to look up the Converse trainers he was wearing because Dan needed them in his life, and searched the room for his selected match. 

The tall man and Dan were the only ones in the room. 

“I’m Kyle. Kyle Simmons.” Kyle took a few steps forward and offered out his trembling hand. “You are D. Smith? Right? I hope I don’t have the wrong room. How fucking embarrassing would that be?” 

K. Simmons. Kyle Simmons.

D. Smith. Dan Smith. 

Dan was in the right room but something must have gone wrong. His mate did not select that Dan wanted to meet a man. 

Or did she? Fucking mates. 

“Dan.” Dan choked out as his brain remembered that one is meant to speak when asked a question. Dan shook Kyle’s trembling hand with his own and felt a bit better about the situation. At least they were both in the same freaking out mode. “I think there might have been a mistake though. I’m not gay.” 

The hand in his slowly stopped moving and was removed from his own. Kyle crossed his arms over his stomach and appeared taken back. 

“Oh.” Kyle simply said after what felt like hours had passed. “Well, I am.” 

“I’m sorry. My mate, she thinks she knows more about me than I do myself, gave this to me as a gift. She answered the questions for me. She must have, I dunno, answered them wrong?” Dan felt like an ass and quickly continued to talk despite his brain telling him to shut up. “I mean, not that being gay is wrong. I fully support anyone’s happiness as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I have gay mates. Fuck, Dan, actually stop talking.” 

Dan’s waffling broke Kyle’s nervous pose and he started laughing as he released his arms from his stomach. 

“I understand.” Kyle smiled and brushed back his hair. Rich, dark locks that were long enough that the front could be pushed all the way to the back and disappear from Dan’s view. “Her responses paired us together though. It was meant to be. There were no specific questions about sexuality or preference for a pairing. The algorithm did that.” 

“Really?” Dan felt his face go pale and he wondered how rude it would be to run from the room. And whether he had a legal argument for murdering his friend due to his extreme embarrassment. “I’m sorry the science was wrong in this case. I hope you didn’t believe I was going to be your one true love.” 

“I had hoped. A bit lonely out there. I guess I fell for the idea that science would help sort out people that were not worth my time.” Kyle brushed back his hair with his hand again and gestured toward the table near the window. “At least have dinner with me. The room is already paid for and there are no refunds. Unless you want to stick it to your mate by wasting her money?” 

Dan was not the sort to waste money. He was the sort to think up ways to murder his friends, but not to follow up with any of those plans. And, especially not disrespect the hours she put into her job to pay for this experience for Dan. 

An experience that she had full faith in was going to change Dan’s life for the better. 

“No. Please, let’s eat.” Dan gestured toward the table and followed Kyle to the seats near the window. 

The day was coming to an end and the sun was setting in the distance. There were large buildings blocking the direct view of the sun, but it was beautiful to see the sunlight reflected on the old London buildings. 

Their food was covered with silver heat shields to keep the food warm. Dan had the odd thought of whether the coverings were to allow the pairing to engage in other activities before enjoying their meals. 

Not that that was going to happen here. 

Dan was not the sort to kiss on the first date let alone engage in other activities. 

“Wicked. A burrito.” Kyle’s excitement at the food choice could be heard in his tone. His dark eyes widening like a child opening a birthday gift. “I hardly ever get burritos in this city.” 

“Same.” Dan nodded his head and wondered if he was expected to use a fork and be proper, or if he could eat it like he would at home and pick it up with his hands. “It is one of my favourites. I have a lot of favourite foods, actually.” 

“Same.” Kyle nodded and pulled up the sleeves of his hoody before picking up the burrito with both of his hands. “I love how functional a burrito is when it comes to eating it. All your food groups put together in a convenient little container for noshing.” 

Dan laughed in response and followed Kyle’s lead by pulling up the sleeves and taking the burrito in both hands. Maybe Kyle wouldn’t be his one true love but he could be a great mate. 

“So,” Kyle paused as he chewed and then swallowed the massive bite he had taken, “What do you do for money? Wait, that sounded like a sex proposition. What do you do for a job?” 

“Music. I write and produce with a mate. He is insanely more talented than me and, for some reason, allows me to work with him.” Dan wiped the side of his mouth with the back of his hand before returning the hand to the burrito and taking another bite. One large enough to keep up with Kyle. 

“I work in music as well. I DJ gigs and write beats with a mate.” Kyle set down the burrito and wiped his hands with the cloth napkin provided before taking a long drink of the red wine. “I am the talented one of the pair though. Joking, obviously.” 

Dan set down his burrito as well and followed suit by taking a drink. He didn’t normally go for wine all that often, but this one was nice. 

And hopefully it would help ease some of the awkwardness of the meal. 

“Anything I would have heard?” Dan took another drink after asking the question. “I have one song on the B side of an album in Japan, but that is about it for me.” 

“Is it a boy group? Because I might be on the same album.” Kyle offered a smile and Dan returned it without thinking. “It is a tough gig but I hope that if I continue to work at it, I might be on the B side of an album for someone in the UK. Or America.” 

“Lofty dreams there.” Dan laughed. He would never allow himself to dream that big. “I’m chuffed I have a job in music period. I reached my goal. Well, second goal. First one was an epic failure.” 

“Don’t tease.” Kyle took another drink and set down the glass. Leaning forward on the table so he rested his elbows on it, Kyle smiled and Dan felt his face respond. “Tell me more.” 

Fuck, Kyle was flirting with him. Was he flirting with him? 

Dan was so bad at this he wasn’t sure. 

He had already told Kyle he wasn’t gay so why was he flirting with him?

Or, was Dan being a douche and Kyle was only interested in hearing more about him? 

Which would be perfectly acceptable for a first meeting. 

In a posh hotel suite as they ate dinner together as the sun set on a supposed date with the person that was supposed to be their one true match according to the algorithm. 

Dan felt his face respond more and the burrito in his stomach, or maybe the wine, was not sitting well with him. 

Standing quickly, Dan excused himself to the loo and ignored Kyle’s concerns about how Dan’s face looked. 

Shutting the bathroom door behind him, Dan struggled to find oxygen to fill his deprived lungs. 

He felt cold and warm all at once and like the room was getting smaller around him. 

Fucking perfect timing for an anxiety attack. 

Finding the sink, Dan turned on what he hoped was the cold water and splashed it on his face. 

1, 2, 3, breathe in. 

More water on his face. 

1, 2, 3, breathe out. 

Turning off the water, Dan looked up at his wet face and swallowed hard. 

Fuck.


	2. Exercise #1

Dan walked out of the bathroom and told himself to get it together. 

Kyle had moved back to the chair he was sat at when Dan entered the hotel room. If Dan was not so stuck inside his head at the moment, he would have smiled because he was sat in the exact same position as before as well. 

“You alright?” Kyle appeared to start to stand but then must have thought better of it because he sat back in the chair. “Sorry, obviously you are not alright. You spent 30 minutes in the bath after I tried to flirt with you. I’ll stop. Just, you are cute and I would normally be all over someone like you by now. Well, no that is a lie. I would be tabled and then all over you. Fuck, I’m talking too much, right? I feel like I’m talking too much.” 

The long waffle not at all masking the anxiety underneath it was exactly how Dan would have reacted to the same situation. Maybe science knew more about Dan than Dan did himself. 

Sitting in the chair opposite Kyle, Dan copied Kyle’s new body language and leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs. “I had a mini panic attack. Thank you for not legging it. I don’t…” 

Dan raised his hand up but really did not have any specific point he was attempting to make with the gesture so he moved his arm back down. 

“Listen, this is a lot for me as well. I will completely understand if you need to leave.” Kyle’s eyes appeared to narrow a bit. Was it a trap? Was Kyle giving him an easy out or just the option to leave so Kyle would be the hero. Hero? What the fuck did that mean? Dan told himself to shut up. 

Forcing himself to be brave, Dan sat back in his chair and crossed his leg at the knee. Kyle had seemed confident before when he had sat like that. Dan needed some confidence. “No. I want to stay. If anything, you seem like you would be a good mate. Maybe not, like a soulmate, but maybe a mate.” 

“Okay then.” Kyle’s eyes relaxed some and he followed Dan’s lead by leaning back in the chair as well. Running a hand through his hair to the back, Kyle gave Dan a smile. 

There was a part of Dan’s chest that reacted to the smile but Dan didn’t want to analyze the feeling quite yet. 

There was no way he would be able to finish eating and he was happy to see that Kyle had covered back up their food before moving to the chair. 

And, now that Dan was calmer, he heard music playing throughout the room. It didn’t have words but it was helping fill in the awkward silences of the room. Dan loved that about music.

Kyle gestured toward the cards on the table between them. “We could do the questions? They are the 36 questions designed to make us...well, to get to know one another. I read about them. Before. On my phone. They seem good.” 

Dan nodded his head because it seemed like Kyle was feeling the same unease as him and questions would at least focus their time in the room together. 

The questions had been published everywhere a few years ago but Dan never looked them all up. He knew the basic idea of them though. Ask and answer deep questions to either develop a bond with someone or strengthen a bond with someone. 

Dan didn't quite believe in the science behind it. Or maybe he was just a massive cynic and questioned how a few questions could make someone fall in love with you.

Kyle picked up the first card and read it out loud, “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” 

David Lynch. 

Obviously. 

Or, Frank Ocean. 

Maybe another dinner with his grandfather. 

“That is a hard question.” Dan pulled his hoody away from his chest and crossed his arms. “Does it have to only be one person?” 

“Doesn’t say, but I believe it means one person.” Kyle set the card in a new pile by the old and then handed Dan the next card in the pile to read. “I would pick someone dead so I might be disqualified. For me, it would be my nan. She was amazing and I miss her.” 

“I was thinking about my granddad.” Dan took the offered card yet didn’t read it yet. “I didn’t know if we could pick someone dead. If not, David Lynch. I know, random choice, but I love his work.” 

“Never heard of him.” Kyle pursed his lips and looked to the side quickly. “Nope. What does he do?” 

“Okay, this science thing is bullshit because how could you be my one true love and you don’t know the mad genius of David Lynch?” Dan shook his head and felt some of the tension release from his body. Somehow knowing this was all nonsense was taking the pressure off Dan. There was no maths behind Dan being paired with Kyle. This was just a dumb social experiment that his mate paid too much money for Dan to be paired with some random person. A male at that. “Twin Peaks? Lost Highway? Eraserhead? Mulholland Drive? Anything?” 

Kyle shook his head at each movie title and Dan’s voice raised higher after each one. 

“Wow. He does some insane music as well.” Dan looked down to the next card still in shock that Kyle was picked as his match but was so uncultured. “Next question: Would you like to be famous? In what way?”

“No.” Both Dan and Kyle answered at the same time. Leading Dan to blush because obviously the question was meant for Kyle but he couldn’t imagine wanting to be famous. Everyone knowing his business? Anyone even caring about his business? It sounded awful.

“Sorry, it was your question.” Dan set down the card near the new pile and smiled as Kyle straightened the card before looking back up. 

“I love music but being famous sounds like a drag. I much prefer doing my music and remaining an unknown face. Or name even.” Kyle looked toward Dan and reached for the next card. “What about you?” 

“Same. Like Gorillas or some other no face band.” Dan nodded his head. “Not that I will ever be anywhere near a recognizable musician. Fuck, I stumbled into music. Went to uni to be a film journalist. That was the epic failure.”

Kyle nodded his head. “Same. Not the film journalist bit but I didn’t know I would be doing music for a career. I did rigging for events and started messing around with a mate with beats. Did some gigging at house parties and here I am. Living my life on one track on a random record in Japan.”

Dan gave him a genuine smile and noticed that Kyle was fidgeting with the strings on his trainers. Lowing his own hand from fidgeting with the strings on his trainers, Dan found Kyle’s eyes move to the lower half of his face before looking down toward the next card. 

“Okay. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?” Kyle let out a soft chuckle and then neatly stacked the card on the pile. “I really want to hear your answer to this one.” 

“First, I avoid ringing people at all costs. I will text you on my own time but hardly ever call.” Dan reached for another card to break the eye contact and sat back as he finished his answer. His hand absentmindedly went back to fidgeting with the strings on his trainers. “If forced to ring someone, I practice but then forget and make a fool of myself. Trip over all my words and hang up feeling like an idiot.” 

“I am definitely ringing you some time.” Kyle smiled at him and Dan felt that ting in his chest respond again. Must be the burrito not sitting well with him. “I hate chatting on the phone, but you sound like it would be worth it.” 

“Don’t be offended if I ignore it to voicemail.” Dan laughed at Kyle’s exaggerated shocked expression and looked down to read the next card. “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?”

“Having a lie in and then a full English. Spending all day making music and enjoying good spirits and food throughout the day. Having a few mates 'round but them leaving after a few hours.” Kyle reached for the next card but paused right before he picked it up. Raising his eyes, Kyle added, “And falling asleep in the arms of someone that enjoyed the same day with me.” 

Dan swallowed and looked away from Kyle’s eyes. That felt like another flirt but Dan wasn’t going to run away. At least not yet. He had already made an idiot of himself. Didn't need to add to it. Rubbing at the indigestion in his chest, Dan nodded his head and looked back to Kyle, “Sounds like the perfect day to me.” 

Kyle held the eye contact for a few more seconds and then read the next card. “When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?” 

Dan bit underneath his lip and crossed his arms tight around himself. He heart was going faster and he wondered if that burrito was a poor choice to eat on a first date. Wait? No, not a date. A meeting. Yes. A meeting. “I’m not singing for you, but probably on the way over here. I do that. Random singing throughout the day. I write lyrics, so yeah.” 

“I sing but not well.” Kyle returned the card and sat back in his seat. His feet were on the floor and his arms crossed around his stomach. Kyle did not seem to be having the same indigestion problems as Dan. Maybe Kyle's burrito was different than Dan's burrito. “I put backing sounds on some of the beats but don’t really write lyrics. I have sang to a date before. He loved it. Got me laid.” 

“Aren’t you proud?” Dan laughed with him and felt the indigestion in his chest flare up again when Kyle's eyes met his own. Before his brain had control over his mouth, Dan blurted out. “You going to sing for me?” 

“Depends.” Kyle gave him a smirk that could only be read as a flirt. “Will it get me laid?” 

Kyle was into him and Dan had indigestion. And just like that, Dan sat questioning everything again.


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m sorry. Fuck.” Kyle leaned forward in his chair, both feet on the floor, and ran his hand through his hair as he looked away. “I didn’t mean to say that. Well, I did, but not to you. Because...well, you know?” 

Dan followed Kyle’s eyes to the direction of the bath and then stood on unsteady legs to find his drink. Downing the rest of it in one go, Dan’s shaky hand found the bottle and filled the empty glass. 

Dan almost down that drink as well, but he wanted his wits about him. 

Otherwise, he might start calling Kyle’s bluff and start singing or something equally as foolish. 

Filling Kyle’s unsolicited glass, Dan took a deep breath and hoped his heart stopped beating so fast. And that his shaky hands did not spill the glasses. 

Turning to face an anxious looking Kyle, Dan offered him his glass and sat back in his seat. 

Running a hand through his hair and pulling out his hoody from his chest, Dan asked with a flushed face and a rough voice, “My turn, is it?” 

Kyle finished a modest drink and offered Dan the next card. Kyle appeared willing to let the awkwardness of the last question remain unaddressed. 

Clearing his throat, Dan read the card to himself first in an attempt to stop himself from further embarrassment. It was a deeper one but relatively harmless. Not, like, say, what is your favourite position? 

“If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?” Dan asked and then set the card on the neat pile Kyle had created. After it was lined up just right, he allowed himself to look toward Kyle. 

Kyle shrugged his shoulders at Dan and raised his arm with the drink in it. Thankfully, he had drunk enough that it did not seem like it would spill. “I like my body as it is but I also like the idea of growing older. Seeing what I will look like in the years to come. And I like the idea of learning more. I’m a right idiot so I need this brain to grow more. I dunno. Neither?” 

Dan found his eyes were moving down Kyle’s body and he was wondering what he would look like in a few years time. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Dan took a drink and wondered what the hell that was. 

“Same. Or neither. Like you. I mean, I want it like you. Fuck, I want you.” Dan swallowed and looked briefly at Kyle. Kyle sat there in his over sized chair with equal part shock and intrigue on his face. “I don’t...I don’t know what I’m saying.” 

“No worries, mate.” Kyle smirked and set down his empty glass on the table while he reached for the next card. He looked at the card and then up again. “Here, this might help. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?” 

Apparently in this fucking hotel suite from embarrassment. 

Dan emptied his glass and set it on the table before shrugging his shoulders as well. He couldn’t say what he was thinking and apparently his mouth-brain connection was off line. 

“I thought maybe on a mountain somewhere. You know, like those films where they climb up on these beautiful mountains? Like in a foreign country on their own? And fall to their death? Or have to chop their arm off?” Kyle sat back in his chair and appeared to think through his answer more. “Or, no. An aeroplane! I fucking hate those. I will be flying to climb a damn mountain in Brazil or something and my plane does down in the Pacific. And then eaten by sharks. Fucking long nose bastards of the sea.” 

Somehow the image of Kyle’s plane going down over the ocean did not calm Dan’s nerves. Or cure his inability to form a complete thought out loud. 

“Name three things you and your…” Dan swallowed hard and took another breath before tucking his leg close to his chest and hugging it to him. “Your, ah, partner appear to have in common.” 

Kyle laughed and Dan tried to look at him, but his eyes had other plans and he set the card down on the table far away from Kyle’s pile. He couldn’t reach now that he had his leg up and he didn’t want to get that close to Kyle. They were more than two metres away from one another but it felt too close. 

“I sit like that all the time.” Kyle started and Dan found his eyes moved to Kyle’s chest. Kyle was not sat like that now, but he could believe him. “And our shoe tastes appear on point. And...burritos. Probably a million other things as well given that we are sat in this room together. Except that one thing.” 

“What thing?” Dan’s voice rose at the end because he already knew what Kyle was going to say. 

“That I fancy men and you don’t.” Kyle reached for the next card and handed it to Dan. “Obviously.” 

Dan’s eyes went to the card in Kyle’s hand and he froze in place. Kyle was wrong. It wasn't his turn, but that was not what had him stuck.

“Hiya, Dan?” Kyle waved the card over the table to get his attention. “Your turn, mate.” 

“Kiss me.” Dan’s eyes moved to Kyle’s face and he hugged his leg closer to him. His chest was feeling all sorts of strange and unusual but his damn brain appeared functioning enough to say the words on his mind. “I’ve never. Maybe...maybe?” 

“Really?” The equal part shocked and intrigued look was back on Kyle’s face and he appeared to be giving Dan a body scan to see if he was serious. “Just like that? No singing first?” 

“Never mind.” Dan lowered his leg and put his hand out waiting for the card that was still in Kyle’s hand. “Give me the card. What is next?” 

“No.” Kyle moved the card behind him in a childish move and sat on the edge of his chair. “I want to kiss you. You don’t just offer a kiss and take it away.” 

“I believe that is the literal definition of consent actually.” Dan let out a short, nervous snort and simply reached for the next card on the pile. If Kyle was going to be childish, then Dan was just going to the next card. Dan's actual turn or not, he wanted to move on from his stupid suggestion.

Except, Kyle was now closer to the table and took the whole stack and put it behind his back. 

“What the fuck?” Dan’s voice rose in shock rather than the nervousness from before. “You cannot just hide the cards from me. Who does that? Are you five?” 

“Hey now, let’s not get mean.” Kyle raised his hands and then stood to move closer to Dan’s chair. Walking along the edge of the low table, Kyle offered his hand to Dan. “Stand up.” 

“Why?” Dan looked toward Kyle’s offered hand and saw it was trembling a bit. Good. 

“You know why.” Kyle moved closer yet and emphasized his offered hand. “Come on now. I want to kiss you. It will be a great story for our grandchildren.” 

“Our what?” Dan stood on his own without the offered hand and found his legs were more shaky than the last time he stood. In fact, he was concerned that with his chest on the brink of bursting and his legs giving out, he was very likely to die of embarrassment at an impressive rate. 

Both his heart and legs would give out and Dan would have to use Kyle’s body to remain upright. 

Kyle smelled nice this close up. Did he smell like this before? The thought was distracting enough to move his attention away from his chest and shaky legs. 

“You alright there?” Kyle used his offered hand to rest on Dan’s upper arm and it literally burned where Kyle touched him. And now another distraction. Kyle's hands were large and covered most of his upper arm. “You look a bit pale.” 

“Aren’t we all a bit pale? Its London, mate.” Dan was surprised he could speak. Feeling proud of himself, he leaned into the warmth of Kyle’s hand on his arm before he realized what he was doing. Damn distraction. 

Kyle must have taken that as a sign to continue this little experiment because now he was stepping in closer and his other hand was on Dan’s other arm. 

Dan found Kyle’s hands were equally warm, and large, and he could smell Kyle better now that he was closer. Definitely some sort of fragrance. An earthly yet sweet smell. Which made sense because Kyle thought this was a date and you use all your best moves for a date. 

Dan rose his eyes up from Kyle’s chest to his face and tried to tell himself to breathe. Kyle was attractive, Dan already knew that, but now he could admit it because Kyle's face was right there. And Kyle's hands were large and he smelled good. Yes, Dan was going to need to get a scan of his brain. There was obviously something wrong with him because he was breathing harder because Kyle's hands felt nice on him. 

At least Kyle looked nervous as well. And yet, determined to kiss Dan. 

“Can I?” Kyle’s eyes went to Dan’s lips and stayed there for a few seconds as Dan’s chest burned almost as much as his arms. 

Kyle’s eyes might have risen to Dan’s face again but Dan wasn’t sure because he nodded his head and instantly closed his own eyes. He couldn't look at Kyle's attractive nose anymore. Or his eyes. Or lips. 

Kyle might be moving closer to him because the pleasant smell, and the burning in his chest, was increasing. Dan was already breathing hard and Kyle didn’t even do anything yet. He would faint if Kyle came any closer. Dan was sure of it. 

“Say I can because...consent.” Kyle said and Dan slowly narrowed the gap between them on his own. If Dan kissed him, that was all the consent Kyle would need. 

Dan refused to open his eyes so he followed the feel of Kyle’s breath on him to find his lips. 

Kyle’s lips were warm. 

And soft. 

And moving. 

Dan let out a silent gasp as he felt Kyle’s tongue licking his bottom lip. 

Dan’s hand moved on its own to fan his fingers through the hair on the back of Kyle’s head. Dan felt Kyle lean in closer as Dan’s fingers moved the hair up in the opposite direction. Kyle made a sound and his body shivered, which made Dan make a sound and step in closer. 

Kyle’s tongue was in his mouth and Dan involuntarily gripped at Kyle’s hair. 

Dan’s chest burned from indigestion and lack of air. 

Dan was right. 

He was going to die in his room. 

But not from embarrassment. 

From lack of oxygen. 

Because Kyle’s mouth tasted like wine and something sweet. 

And his tongue liked to move with Dan’s tongue. 

Kyle pulled back first and Dan was left trying to figure out what he was meant to do now that Kyle’s mouth was not on his own. He had forgotten what he was meant to do in that short of a time. What would happen if they went further? Would Dan's brain turn to mush? 

Kyle was breathing hard against his face and Dan remembered he was also meant to breathe. 

Dan’s hand was still in Kyle’s hair and Dan was curious to find that one of Kyle’s hands was at the back of his neck. 

“Now that that is out of the way,” Kyle moved his hand forward to rest underneath Dan’s chin and turn his head up to look at him. “you feel better about this?” 

Dan’s eyes moved back to Kyle’s lips but he was able to nod his answer. 

Dan didn’t do this. 

He didn’t kiss on the first date. 

He didn’t get hotel rooms with someone on the first date. 

But, he also never felt that before when he kissed someone.

So what the fuck did Dan know? He surely did not know science because he would have never picked Kyle on his own. 

But, thankfully, you don't need to understand science to experience it. 


	4. End of Experiment

Kyle had left Dan alone with his thoughts to use the loo. But only after an awkward laugh when Dan’s fingernail got caught in a small knot in Kyle’s hair. 

Taking a deep breath and slowly letting the air out through his nose, Dan looked around the hotel room and started to panic. What was he doing here? 

Dan’s life had been going along right fine until before the kiss. 

Before the kiss. 

That was what his life would be like now: Before the kiss and after the kiss. 

Sure Dan had been a bit lonely and frustrated, but he had a good life. He had mates. He had music. He had relationships here and then. 

But now, he needed to face the truth that maybe he had been hiding something from himself all along. 

However, that was too big of a thought to be having in a hotel suite with an essential stranger. A stranger that tasted very good, but still a stranger at that. 

Maybe he should leave? Would that make him a dick if he just left? 

Or leave but write a note on the hotel stationary? A coward’s way out but Dan didn’t have Kyle’s number so he would not be able to text him. 

And then what would he write? Loved the snog. Sorry had to run. 

There was nothing that Dan could write that would be enough. He would be a dick in Kyle’s stories forever now. 

But better a dick then having to explain to his mum why Kyle was invited to Sunday dinner. 

Or why Kyle and him now lived together. 

Why Kyle was marrying him. 

At that thought, Dan actually stopped breathing again. 

Running a hand through his hair, Dan was distracted by the bath door opening and Kyle exiting with a smile on his face. Distracted enough at the sight, Dan's body naturally took in a large gulp of oxygen all at once and he started coughing on it. 

Kyle looked concerned for a second but then gave Dan that smile again and Dan told himself to get it together. 

If it was only Dan that was freaking out about this then he needed to at least act like a grown adult. 

But, now he couldn’t leave unless he told Kyle to his face. 

Dan opened his mouth to speak as Kyle started making his way back to him but the only words Dan could manage was, “My mum.” 

“No, name’s Kyle.” Kyle took the seat that Dan had been sitting in and sat back with his leg crossed over his knee. If only Dan could have that confidence right now. “We have met. Remember? Amazing kiss and then I had to escape to the toilet because I was panicking a bit and needed time to remind myself that I can manage this.”

So maybe he was not as confident as he appeared. 

Dan gathered himself enough to sit in the chair that Kyle had been sitting in before they kissed. There it was again. Before the kiss. 

Sitting on the fabric, Dan felt the cards underneath him and decided that was a perfect excuse to not look in Kyle’s direction. Sorting them back into a neat stack, yet not ordered because Dan’s brain could do maths right now, Dan held them in his hand and sat back in the chair. 

“What to go through more of them?” Kyle shifted a bit and then crossed his arms over his waist, holding himself. “Might be a good distraction.” 

Dan wanted to ask what they needed a distraction from but that seemed dangerous so he read the card on the top of the pile. 

“If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” Dan read the card and then leaned forward to put it on the stack that they already went through. 

“I am going to give you an honest answer because there is only me and you here.” Kyle emphasized the last few words and Dan wondered if that was for his own benefit or for Dan’s benefit. “I want to know if you are feeling what I am feeling and if this is going to work out for us. I needed to excuse myself to the toilet because I was panicking a bit. That kiss was amazing and I want to know if you felt it as well. Or, if this is all some sort of experiment for you and I’m never going to see you again.” 

Dan swallowed at Kyle’s words and felt the edges of the cards cut a bit into his skin. 

Looking around the room as if to confirm what Kyle said was true, Dan found himself speaking, “I felt it as well. I have no idea what it means but I felt it as well. But...I dunno.” 

“Was that the ‘my mum’ bit?” Kyle hugged himself tight and leaned forward as he continued. “Because I know what that feels like to worry about parents and mates and the like knowing that you fancy lads. But, again to be honest, they are not in this room right now and what they think really does not matter to the question I asked you.” 

Dan logically knew what Kyle was saying was the truth, but Dan was not always the most logical person. So instead of commenting on that, his brain did what it did before and spoke without his consent. 

“Can we again?” Dan moved the cards from his hand and tossed them to the chair. They lost their neat and organized state but apparently that didn’t matter. “Kiss again. Because that was nice.” 

Kyle appeared to think over Dan’s request and then stood, holding his hand out to Dan. 

Dan was taken back to their first kiss and the lead up that went with it. Somehow, Dan was more nervous about this kiss than he was the last kiss. 

The last kiss was an experiment. Just to see what it would be like. 

This kiss was purposeful. Dan knew what it felt like to kiss him. He couldn’t hide behind science with this kiss. 

Dan must have hesitated too long for Kyle because he dropped his hand and started to take a step back. 

Quickly standing to his full height, Dan walked into Kyle’s space and kissed him with no lead up. 

Kyle’s lips tasted sweeter this time so Dan continued with his uncharacteristic braveness and licked Kyle’s lips for entrance. 

Kyle stepped further into the kiss as Dan’s tongue met his and soon Dan could feel Kyle’s hands moving up the back of his hoody. There was way too much material in the way and that led Dan to pulling at the bottom of his hoody to get it off. 

Kyle’s lips left his own to allow the heavy material to move over his head and before Dan could ask, Kyle was working on removing his own hoody as well. 

Dan knew his hair was standing up in weird angles because so was Kyle’s, but that didn’t matter if they were going to close their eyes again. Instead of attempting to fix it, Dan narrowed the space between them and kissed him again. 

Kyle was prepared this time and already had his mouth open to fight with Dan for dominance over the kiss. As Kyle licked into his mouth, Dan felt his knees actually get weak and he reached for Kyle to balance him. 

As if they shared the same brain, they both started walking blindly toward the direction of the large bed. 

Dan had done this before, only with more running into things and his back starting to hurt from bending down to reach lips. A perk of kissing Kyle was that his lips were right there. No extra effort required. 

Dan almost laughed to himself but then he felt Kyle’s hands working on removing his top and all thoughts stopped again. 

Their legs had reached the bed and hands were working to remove tops. Again, almost in sync with one another, they looked toward the bed with bare tops and then back to one another. 

“We don’t have to. I mean…” Kyle was giving Dan an easy out. Dan could laugh it off and find his shirt. This night could be written off as an awkward, but wonderful experience and Dan could go back to his life as he knew it. 

Or, Dan could do what he did and step in closer and kiss him again. 

Dan felt Kyle smiling against his mouth and then there were many things happening at the same time to get them both into the tall bed without removing lips from one another. 

As Kyle’s back rested against the bed, he made a sound as Dan settled on top of him that Dan felt move through his body and he knew he wanted more. 

Dan went to move his hand down and found it was already where he wanted it to be. Resting on Kyle’s hip and desperately pulling at the material he found there. 

Dan knew this was too quick and he needed to slow down to think, but if he thought about this, he was going to back out. And then he would never know if this was going to be the night that started the rest of his life or if it was going to be the night he cowarded away from his feelings and went back to his everyday existence. 

Before Dan could move his hand, he felt Kyle pushing him away and he felt the energy in the room change. Finding Kyle’s eyes, Dan saw the panic behind them and he moved back to give Kyle space to breathe.


	5. The Game

“I’m sorry.” Dan untangled his leg from Kyle’s and moved to the empty side of the bed. Kyle’s eyes were following him but Kyle appeared stuck in his head. Dan knew that feeling all too well so he decided to be quiet and let Kyle come back to himself.

And then he could come back to Dan.

Kyle’s eyes left Dan as his hands went up to run through his hair, neatening it and making Dan copy the same motion. He knew his hair was crazy and needed taming, but it would never fall as nicely as Kyle’s hair due to its texture.

Dan wished he had his shirt on and almost moved to pull the bed cover over himself. He felt exposed. Now that he wasn’t on top of Kyle and his brain was not flooded with hormones he realized where he was and what he was doing.

He almost had sex with a man he barely knew.

With a man.

Why? Because kissing him and moving against him was easier than talking to him.

“That felt good.” Kyle’s voice sounded rough and it pulled Dan out of his head. Turning his eyes away from the ceiling, Dan saw Kyle holding out Dan’s shirt to him. Kyle cleared his throat before he continued, “Like, really fucking wicked. But, it also felt wrong.”

“Too fast.” Dan nodded his head as he uncrossed his arms from around his bare chest and quickly put his shirt back on. Kyle had his shirt back on when Dan’s head popped out of its cover. Attempting to smooth down his hair again, Dan caught Kyle’s eyes and gave him a shy smile. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m just as much to blame as you.” Kyle uncrossed his arms and moved his body up so he sat with his back to the headboard. “You are fit and it has been awhile.”

Same, Dan thought but didn’t say out loud. It had been quite a while for Dan but he didn’t want to admit to how long. He was already embarrassed enough. And someone that looked like Kyle likely had a different definition of “awhile.”

“I haven’t been in a relationship, like an actual one, since secondary school. I have not had sex with anyone in six months.” Kyle watched as Dan followed Kyle’s lead and moved to sit with his back to the headboard. “Thought I would be honest with you.”

Dan swallowed and nodded his head. Six months was longer than Dan yet that did not appear to comfort him.

“I want to know more about you.” Kyle turned so he was facing Dan. Likely realizing how wild Dan’s hair was and how nervous Dan was now that they stopped. “Fuck, are you shaking?”

“A bit.” Dan crossed his arms over himself to hold them tighter to him. If Kyle was going to be honest, then Dan deserved it to Kyle to be honest as well. “It happens. First time I went on stage, I literally almost passed out. The only memory I have of that night is a blurry video my mate took of me. First time having sex, I went on autopilot and I don’t remember a thing. Thankfully, there is no video of that night. This...this is scarier.”

“We will have to tell them to delete the video before they broadcast it as part of the experiment.” Kyle had a large grin on his face when Dan’s body snapped in his direction. “Sorry. I had to. Awkwardness equals ill advised humour for me. There is no video. Promise.”

“Good.” Dan felt his heart rate finally slowing down and he made the mistake of looking at Kyle’s face. Like, really looking at him. Fuck, he was beautiful and funny. A bit of a wreck like Dan, but so much better managing himself than Dan. What the hell was Kyle going to do with someone like him? “I’ve never been with a man and I think my body went on autopilot. It felt good so I didn’t stop myself. And, I didn’t want you to leave if I didn’t...well, you know.”

“I was attempting to give myself an out before. I thought you were going to be relieved to not have to go through with it, but then you jumped me.” Kyle moved in closer and rested his hand on Dan’s forearm. “I knew we were going too fast but I didn’t want you to leave either. Until, I just couldn’t anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” Dan’s eyes went to Kyle’s hand and then back to his face. There was nothing but kindness behind those eyes but Dan was terrified.

“Tell me about your parents?” Kyle’s hand stayed where it was and there was a comfort in knowing that Kyle was staying close to him even after Dan almost rushed them into sleeping together. “Do you have siblings? We can slow down by getting to know one another. You know, make a proper go of it.”

“What about the questions?” Dan attempted to look toward the direction of the chair and the cards that still lied on it, but Kyle’s eyes had a sparkle to him and Dan was transfixed. He wasn’t quite sure if it was helping that Kyle was looking straight back at him or not. Either way, Dan’s eyes found what they wanted to look at and Dan was helpless to turn them away. “We weren’t finished.”

“Fuck the questions. I want to know about your parents.” Kyle smiled and Dan felt it down to his toes. Which also let some of the indigestion from before spark up again and Dan realized how he owed the burrito an apology.

“They are nice. Good parents. Loving and caring. They had no idea what to do with me, but they were, are, great parents.” Dan swallowed and told himself to breathe more evenly. “I have a sister. She is great as well. She probably understands me the most. I like her.”

“My parents are amazing as well. Like, could not ask for a better set of loons to raise us. I have a gaggle of siblings. I, believe it or not, am not the maddest of the bunch.” Kyle’s hand moved up to Dan’s elbow and Dan felt the skin on his back get jealous. Kyle’s hand had felt great on his back. “A few of them have settled down and have children. I’m an uncle, if you can believe it.”

“My sister hasn’t had any children yet, but she will. She is like Mary Poppins with children.” Dan turned his body slightly so he could touch Kyle’s thigh. It was the same hand attached to the arm with Kyle’s hand on it so it felt a bit awkward but Dan wanted to touch him. “I want children. Like, forever away.”

“Good. Our children will be beautiful and creative. And fucking nervous wrecks.” Kyle’s smile grew and Dan stopped himself from leaning forward and kissing him.

Leaning forward was easy. Staying where he was and talking, that was the true test of his bravery.

It was easy to return the smile and Dan wondered if they had even blinked since their eyes met ages ago. Not that Dan was complaining. He would gladly spend the rest of their evening together staring into those eyes. Which was bizarre for Dan because normally he could look anywhere but at someone’s eyes.

“I’m glad we stopped.” Dan found himself saying and decided to see where his brain was taking the conversation. “I’m not ready to have sex with you. I would have gotten embarrassed and refused to see you again. And then slowly deteriorated until my mates abandoned me and my Japanese music contract was revoked. Destitute, I would lose all faith in humanity and myself. I would die a bitter, old man on the streets.”

Fuck, dramatic much Dan?

“Best we stopped.” Kyle moved in closer and Dan wondered if he was going to kiss him again. If Kyle kissed him again, he would take the risk and end up on the streets if need be. Dan wouldn’t want to stop again.

Kyle’s free hand smoothed down the side of Dan’s hair and Dan held in the soft sigh he wanted to let out. Kyle’s eyes held his own but Dan’s were quickly making the case to close and take in the moment further.

A bitter old man on the streets wouldn’t be so bad of a life, right? Not that Dan's was going to amount to much anyway. Might as well take the risk now.

Before Dan could lean in closer or close his eyes, Kyle asked, “Does your hair not adhere to the laws of physics?”

Dan could only shake his head in reply. He had loads of people ask him that very question or one similar to it, but he never had a proper answer. Never as much as now did he want to have a clever remark to give in response to the question. He wanted to make Kyle laugh and fall in love with him.

Kyle took his hand away from petting Dan’s hair and rested it on top of Dan’s hand on Kyle’s thigh.

“What are you thinking right now?” Kyle’s head slightly tilted to the side and that gorgeous smile returned. “Please, whatever it is, tell me.”

“I am thinking about how I wish I had a witty response to your question.” Dan swallowed and leaned in a bit more. Not enough to kiss him and still enough distance so they could continue to play their eye contact game. “I would love to make you laugh. Because then you might stay.”

“Am I going somewhere?” Kyle looked around the room quickly and Dan had the thought that he won the game. Until Kyle’s eyes locked with his again and Dan realized that he won more than a game.

Kyle would be coming to Sunday dinner. 

Kyle would be the muse for a million songs. 

Kyle was the person Dan was going to fall in love with.

"Please don't." Dan shook his head and found himself smiling. He wouldn't be able to blame this on the wine. Or a burrito. Or a flood of hormones because Kyle tasted sweet. "I quite like having you 'round. Tell me more. I want to know everything about you." 

"I was born to two lovely specimens on a cold, dark winter's day. My mum had already had children so it was just another day for the lot." Kyle's hand squeezed Dan's and Dan almost leaned in again. "Doctors said I had an impressive set of lungs and I demanded attention. Only a few minutes old and I was declaring myself to the world. My parents brought me home and my siblings quickly learned that I was annoying. One of them, no one has confessed yet, put my bassinet outside after a week of being home. Thankfully, my lungs were well practiced by then and I had the neighbour fussing over me quickly. After a long chat with the local municipals, I was returned to my mum who did not let me out of her sight for another few months. As I proudly began to waddle, I made my way to the piano and found that the keys were even louder than my lungs. Before my siblings could banish me to the outside, my older brother started teaching me to play." 

"Are you joking?" Dan wondered if he sounded as breathless to Kyle as he felt. 

"You can ask my mum." Kyle broke eye contact again and kissed the side of Dan's mouth. "She will love to meet you and tell you about my rotten siblings." 

"I would love that." Dan had closed his eyes when Kyle kissed him. There was no masking the breathlessness of Dan's voice after the soft kiss.

"Open your eyes." Kyle said as he kissed the opposite side of Dan's mouth and Dan found himself moving without his permission. Lip to lip was best. 

Unlike before, the kiss was soft and brief. No rush. No one was going anywhere. There were no expectations. No experiments. No games. 

Dan followed Kyle's previous direction as he moved back to the perfect distance to be close yet still be able to watch Kyle. 

Kyle smiled at him and Dan swore he saw a twinkle in his eye. "Tell me about you. I want to know everything." 

Dan found himself talking with little hesitation. There was a lot to cover if they both wanted to know everything. 


End file.
